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How to cope with unbearable grief - navigating the unknown path of loss

Grief is a tumultuous process that no amount of preparation or expectation can fully equip us for. It catches us off guard, throwing us into a whirlwind of emotions we never imagined could exist. When faced with a devastating loss, it can feel like the world has come crashing down, leaving us in a state of profound emptiness. How do we navigate this unknown path of loss? How do we cope with unbearable grief?


Understanding Grief


Grief in its entirety is a mind field. It is a complex and individual experience, unique to each person who traverses its rocky terrain. It manifests your emotions in various forms - sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, and even physical pain which at times leaves you gasping for air. Like most human experiences, no two journeys through grief are alike, and there is no set timeline for healing. Therefore, it's crucial that you allow yourself the space and the time to grieve in your way, without judgment or comparison.


Grieving Person

Allowing Yourself to Feel


This is not only one of the most important aspects of grieving, but one of the most difficult - allowing yourself to feel. At times you often feel like there could not possibly be any more tears left, or that your heart can't ache any more and that it is physically breaking. One minute you feel numb, the next you are sobbing uncontrollably, and it is emotionally and physically exhausting. However, suppressing these powerful emotions or putting on a facade of strength for too long may only prolong your healing process. It's okay to cry, to scream, to feel lost and overwhelmed. Accepting and embracing these powerful emotions, however painful they may be, is often a crucial step towards your healing.


Seeking Support


Navigating grief alone can be an isolating experience. It feels isolating, it feels like no one else can possibly know your pain. You may feel like withdrawing and isolating yourself from the world as it is just too painful. It is important to know when to reach out to your friends, family, or a therapist for support. Sharing your thoughts and feelings with someone who can offer empathy and understanding can be immensely comforting. Joining a support group of individuals who are also coping with loss can provide a sense of community and belonging during this difficult time.


Honouring Your Loved One


We all grieve in different ways, and one of the most profound ways to support yourself during this time is when you can gather the strength to find ways to honour the memory of your loved one. This can often be a healing experience but also a space to cultivate growth. Some people have completed degrees during times of grief, or face their fears and obstacles holding them back from truly living. Others join worthy causes to support others who may walk the same path or to find cures. Others create a memory box, plant a tree in their honour, or write letters expressing their thoughts and feelings. However you choose to do this, keeping your loved ones' memories alive can help you feel connected to them even in their physical absence.


Practicing Self-Care


During times of grief, self-care often takes a back seat. However, taking care of yourself is essential for the healing process. Make time for activities that bring you joy, prioritise healthy eating and sleep, and engage in gentle exercise. Remember to be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this difficult journey.


Embracing the Waves of Grief


Unfortunately, grief is not a linear process; it comes in waves, sometimes unexpectedly and overwhelmingly. There will be good days and bad days, moments of immense sorrow and fleeting glimpses of hope. Embrace the ebb and flow of grief, allowing yourself to ride the waves without resistance.


Moving Forward


As you continue to navigate the unknown path of loss, remember that your healing is not about forgetting but learning to live with the absence of your loved one. It's about finding your new normal, redefining your identity, and carrying the memories of your loved one with you as you move forward. Be kind to yourself, seek support when needed, and allow yourself to grieve in your own time and way.


Coping with unbearable grief is a deeply personal journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and the willingness to embrace the pain and healing that comes with loss. Remember that you are not alone in your grief, and there is no right or wrong way to navigate this unknown path. Give yourself the grace and space to grieve, and trust that healing will come in its own time.




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