How I implemented a systems approach to reduce stress & frustration in our routines.

As a parent, ensuring a structured routine for our children amid the hustle and bustle of school life can be quite challenging. I vividly remember the days of chaos and last-minute rushes that often characterised our mornings before I realised it didn't need to be this way. So, after much reflection, I decided that I needed to create a systems approach to establish a calm and consistent routine that would hopefully transform our daily morning experience.

The Beginning of a Journey

It all started when my children were younger and I found myself constantly frazzled, rushing to get not only myself ready for work, but the children dressed, fed, and out the door on time. I often found myself sliding into work on 2 wheels with my heart in my throat, my mind a mess and not feeling emotionally ready to start my day. How can we continue to start our day like this every single morning? The frustration and stress lingered, impacting not only my mood but also setting a chaotic tone for my children's day ahead.

A Change in Approach

Determined to bring about a positive change, I embarked on creating a systems approach to encourage positive habits which would hopefully revolutionise our routine. The key, I discovered, lay in organisation and consistency. Thus began the journey to implement a routine that would not only ensure timeliness but also foster a sense of calm and preparedness in our household.

Early Mornings Made Easy

First and foremost, I realised the importance of setting up a system to make the change a lasting one. It's okay to want to think about the change, but implementing it as a daily habit is a different matter. So when considering what to do, I realised I wanted us all to feel the right positive tone from the moment we woke up.

1. Wake up a little bit earlier - by waking up just 15 minutes earlier, we created a buffer of time that allowed for a gentle wake-up call, a peaceful morning stretch, a quick make of our beds and a room tidy up.

2. Exercise before school - to start our day on a positive light, by waking up 30 minutes earlier, we could get dressed and go for a morning walk together. The benefits of walking and talking as a family without devices was a brilliant way to create a sense of closeness.

Teens - ** as my children grow into teenagers we set a routine of 'intention'. At the start of each term, we create a timetable for their morning activity (cycling, walking, weights, swimming etc) so they can see what their week ahead is, when they turn off their devices, when they study and when they go to sleep.

1. Breakfast - enjoying a hearty breakfast around the table was a lovely way to ensure their bodies were nourished before the school day. Their bodies and brains need high-fibre and rich protein breakfasts during this phase of growth and development. (breakfast burritos, omelettes, fresh fruit and yoghurt, boiled eggs and avocado, overnight oats, breakfast muffins etc).

1. After the morning routine is completed, and when my children/teens are dressed and bags packed, they are allowed to check their computers (teens) for timetable changes etc for their schooling day. This is good for organisation, routines and being accountable. They can check in with their friends at this time as well.

This simple adjustment works wonders in setting a positive atmosphere for the day ahead.

Streamlined Preparation

1. I focus on streamlining our preparation process. Our evenings are dedicated to laying out the next day's outfits, checking backpacks for completed homework and pre-packing lunch boxes, swimming bags etc. This small but impactful change significantly reduces the morning rush and helps to eliminate the frantic search for misplaced items.

Structured Afternoons

1. After school is another critical window that demands structure. Establishing designated homework space and time followed by a brief period of rest/time for themselves helps my children transition relatively seamlessly from school to home life. This routine not only aids their academic performance but also instils a sense of discipline and balance.

Teens - if I am working after school, the boys are encouraged to eat a quick snack before they access the school library to complete their homework and assessments. When they come home, they have worked on some of their tasks and can relax or get ready for training etc.

** Games including Xbox, PS, Switch, Computers etc. We have a discussion regarding the use of these during the term. In our house, we don't use these during the week. They can be accessed during the weekend in the afternoon/evening Saturday. Sundays we generally allocate a 2-hour slot of time on devices, including TV's for everyone in the house. We try to create as much device-free time as possible.

Wind-Down Rituals

1. As the evening approaches, I introduce wind-down rituals that signal the end of the day and prepare my children and myself for a restful night's sleep. This includes calming activities such as reading together, dimming the lights, and engaging in quiet conversations about the day's events. This establishes a sense of closure and tranquility that is carried into the night.

   
   

Teens - to prepare for the end of the day, with our already scheduled timetable, we set timers with Alexa to signal when the devices are to be turned off (i.e. 8:30pm) and put in the kitchen to charge for the next day. I still at times have to work to ensure this is adhered to. To support the social aspect with friends who like to be on their devices longer, my teens are encouraged to let their friends know when they will be switching off.

Realising the Benefits

The transformation in our household was remarkable. Not have my children become more punctual and organised, but their overall demeanour and attitude have undergone a noticeable shift. The mornings that were once fraught with tension and chaos now unfolded more smoothly, with positive banter and closeness filling our home.

Reflecting on the Journey

Looking back, the journey to establish a calm and consistent school routine for our family is not without its challenges. It requires dedication, patience, and a willingness to adapt. However, the rewards far outweigh the initial struggles. Witnessing my children thrive in a more balanced environment reaffirms the importance of a consistent routine in nurturing their growth and well-being and hopefully establishes healthy life habits.

Embarking on the path to implementing calm and consistent routines for my family is a transformative experience. Through organisation, consistency, and a dash of creativity, our once-chaotic mornings are a source of positive connection. I would encourage you to consider the benefits of creating a routine that serves not only to streamline daily tasks but also cultivates a supportive, engaged, balanced and calmer family dynamic.